Breakout-Breakdown-Break Free.

Breakout

After I came back from Bali in May 2017 I felt something changing inside of me. I was infected with that “travel- bacteria” and I wanted more. 

I saw a world so different from what I knew and I completely fell in love.

So I started planning everything, quit my job and packed.

One week before my flight would have taken me to Thailand, I got a serious kidney and bladder infection. I broke up with my affair and my dog has been diagnosed with cancer.

Everyone else would’ve probably stayed at home, but for me it was the opposite.

I had to go, I had to breakout!

Breakdown

After a terrible flight and an even worse goodbye at the airport, I was in Koh Phangan Thailand. I had exactly one good day there and then it hit me hard. I was alone, the first time in my life. I realised that I still have the same problems here, I can’t just runaway.

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My body was still sick, poisoned with medication and full of bad bacteria and my mind was still troubled with everything that happened before I left. I couldn’t handle my own thoughts anymore, they were telling me everything I have repressed until now. I tried to ignore them but they only got louder and louder. So I started to listen what my subconscious was telling me and I got better every day. It was hard work but it was worth it. I had to learn that my happiness is not dependant on people and that I am strong enough to handle difficult situations by myself. Koh Phangan offers many things to help you through this. 

I did Yoga, started meditating and joined ecstatic dance. I finally felt positivity growing inside of me again. I still had bad days, but I started to see it as a lesson that was trying to teach me something. I cried a lot, but I learned a lot. 

After Koh Tao and Koh Samui I went to Cambodia and Vietnam. It was amazing. The local markets, the tuktuks, the temples and of Image-1-1course the people. I love that typical Asian- chaos. On the other side I saw a lot of poverty and garbage everywhere. I went to see the Killing Fields and the torture prison S21. I was shocked what the human beings are able to do when they feel deeply unhappy, scared ore if there is a lack of education. We have a lot of things to take care of to make this world a better place for everyone. I started with myself and decided to eat vegetarian. That was easy for me after I saw many animals getting killed right in front of me at the markets. 

Breakfree

In Cambodia I shaved my head. It all started with a joke and three hours later my hair was gone. I liked it from the beginning, but I realised that I don’t fit in anymore. Women with short hair are not really accepted as women. It’s strange because I think I’m feeling my femininity even more since then. I found it within me and not just on the outside.Image-2

I feel so much better, lighter, free and confident. I feel like I came closer to my real self.

And then India, the destination I was most afraid of turned out to be one of my favorites. I signed in for the 200 hours Yoga Teacher Training Course. This month taught me more than any other school. I learned to listen to my body, to calm my mind and to appreciate everything I used to take for granted.  5 hours asana class, 3 hours meditation, 2 hours theory and Ayurveda class every day. 

When I actually started to understand and not just listen, what the world was telling me, I found many answers to
questions I didn’t even know I had them. I started to feel my body and not just moving it, I felt so much energy inside me. It was addictive to feel so happy and healthy. So I promised myself to keep that positivity and protect it from any judgment or competition. I see the differences between people as an enrichment. Our imperfections make us perfect. They say you either love or hate India. I don’t know how I feel about it, but I know I want to learn more about Ayurveda and go deeper in to the theory and practice of Yoga.

Next stop Bali, my happy place! I finally got the ocean back, I could listen to its waves while falling asleep and I could surf again. I was so happy to be back on a scooter with the local guys and dancing all night long at Single Fin Club. It was perfect. I think every person loses their heart at one place, the perfect match. Bali is my perfect match. The people, the food and the nature gives me so much. It feels like home. 

After a 5 day stop in Kuala Lumpur I was sitting on a plane back home. I never thought that going home would feel like this. It was pure emotional chaos. 

Traveling alone helped me to discover some unknown pieces inside of me and to put them together with the pieces I found while I was on the road.  The result is a pretty awesome new version of a woman who had to breakout and breakdown to finally break free!Image-4

Follow Nora on her journey:

Creativity: instagram / no.ra.bii

Thoughts: facebook / nora.brunner.16

Listen to Nora’s journey so far:

 

2 thoughts on “Breakout-Breakdown-Break Free.

  1. Thanks for sharing Nora. I once had my head shaved and it was a great feeling of letting go. It’s great to feel so free

  2. Brave Women to go with a Bacteria …. a guess it had to be… and isnt Life beautiful … to give us lessons, if we just see – feel – be .. that was GfM for me, more then 30 Years ago … and the best Thing is – we never stopp learning the beauty off Life – <3 xxx

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